My friend Suzy

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Eating disorders

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An anonymous contributor shares a piece of creative writing relating to their experiences with an eating disorder.  

‘Suzy has always been my best friend. I met her at school when I was thirteen. We did everything together, she was always around my house, we were forever going out, going to the shops, doing all the things teenagers do. She was there when I kissed a boy for the first time. She was the one that offered me my first cigarette and can of cider. I can’t remember a time when she was not around! Sometimes mum would tell her to shove off, especially when we were playing up too much, but she would always sneak back, giggling away. It was always fun with her’.

‘I was never all that into fashion but Suzy was. She was great at picking out clothes. Clothes that made you look sexy, clothes that were really cool, clothes that made you look thin. She was always prettier than me. The clothes always looked better on her. We would sometimes argue, she could be really nasty sometimes. When she was really annoyed she would call me a fat cow. I didn’t like that but sometimes I thought it was true’.

‘I can’t remember when it started? Probably Suzy coming up with one of her crazy diet ideas, she was always coming up with them. We just wanted to look cool, wanted all the boys to fancy us, who doesn’t? We were both really good. And we stuck to it. Sometimes I caught Suzy cheating, sometimes she caught me. It didn’t matter though. Suzy was great when Mum started asking questions, she told me exactly what to say to her to keep off my back. Mum just didn’t understand. She didn’t know about fashion and stuff like we did’.

When I started wearing a baggy jumper, so did Suzy. She looked so cool, far cooler than me. It was the best way to stop people asking if we were ok. We had a real laugh about that. We were always saying to each other ‘Are you alright? I’m fine’ it was really funny. Suzy would hold my hand when I didn’t feel well, when she didn’t feel well I would rub her back, she always liked that.

‘Then things got bad. I was just feeling horrible all the time. Suzy seemed ok. I told her I was going to see the doctor and she said ‘no’ everything would be fine, she wasn’t happy but I said I had to. I was shocked when the doctor told me I had to go to hospital. He told me to come back later so I could be admitted. I didn’t go back, I ran to see Suzy’.

‘She said I didn’t have to go, that they couldn’t make me. I believed her, I felt a bit better. We stayed at home, hid in my room like we always did. When the doctor came with the police, Suzy must have run off or something because she wasn’t there. I didn’t want to go but they told me I had to’.

‘Suzy doesn’t come and see me in the hospital. I’ve tried calling her but she just won’t come. I can’t imagine what happened to her’? 

‘It’s been months now. It’s almost like she has disappeared’? 

Eating disorders Eating disorders Eating disorders

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