Low self-esteem: An Open Door To A Passage With No Ending

I don’t know if only people that deal with mental health issues are the bearers of low self-esteem. Or if indeed among us some don’t endure this particular issue.

Low self-esteem: An Open Door To A Passage With No Ending

What I do know is that low self-esteem is a door opener for many levels of the mental health universe.

When it manifests, it acts as a disruptor of our individual sovereignty. The pride we could have about ourselves over past achievements or the mere fact that we are still here despite our traumas.

There is often a question we ask that takes away our strength and puts it on the shoulders of someone else. We hope that the other person is our friend and offers us an answer that is both empowering and problem solving. That question is: what do you think?

It is an innocuous question when asked in a context of curiosity. It is when it becomes a pattern for most of our choices, that it becomes problematic.

There are many problems with this pattern. At the top of it is, we don’t trust ourselves to know what is best for us or to know what we want. It may become almost like an addiction to this, because we take part in a cycle of empowering someone else for our choices and that someone is not us. They are not knowable enough to be able to provide us with what we think we need.

There is the issue of responsibility or lack thereof. When our esteem of ourselves is low, we transfer our ability to stand up and by empowering the other we leave our responsibility from us to us, and become dependent on external validation, and approval samples. This means that this other person or persons become our universe of discourse and it is through them that we believe and assimilate our behaviours, wishes and actions.

The other lurking issue

This leads to another issue that is lurking behind the scenes and that is control. Our low self-esteem often spirals us into so much doubt as to proceed, that in order to control it we accept what is told to us. It is easier in the moment, but it takes away our choices.

Finally, we don’t know what someone else is going to think about a choice that we want to make, whether it’s a new career path, haircut or clothing. We need to ask ourselves, am I ok with this? If nobody judges me, is this what I want?

What makes us feel comfortable shouldn’t be subjected to a poll. That is the hardest part to attain when our longing for approval is so high and our self-image is so low. It is entangled with self-judgement and the fear of rejection.

We are the first ones to do that to ourselves. We absolutely need to change that. We need to love us. We then open the door to self-discovery by allowing a flow that comes from a place of acceptance. It is the best place to start and also the best to finish any journey.

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