It happens all around us: in TV, films, books and music, love seems to pop up all over the place. When you’re having a tough time of it, whether it’s where you live, stresses of final exams or feeling like impending doom, we tend to reach for one of the above to escape realism. Particularly in films, you see the stress and fear etched across their faces and you slowly discover the resemblance matches your face in the mirror.
Love and questions
When you feel disheartened with decisions you made and how certain people are treating you, it can feel like a shock when someone tells you that they love you. Love from friends, family even pets is always a welcoming pleasure, as from the get-go they know us inside out, flaws and flairs of our characteristics. You can feel perplexed when someone, especially a romantic partner, tells you that they love you one word automatically pops into your head… why? It’s one word but two different questions: Why do they love me? and how come I question the love for myself?
I once read somewhere that “you can only find love once you learn to love yourself”, I took this advice as gospel. I’ll be honest, I like myself but it’s working progress to love myself again. After having depression and anxiety for the past five years, it feels like re-climbing the ladder to self-esteem. A couple of weeks ago my boyfriend told me that he loves me. As you can imagine those two questions above popped into my head and lingered until the next day. Did I have answers to these questions? no. The first question was answered by him even though I didn’t ask, and the second question, I don’t know.
Be kind to yourself, always!
Sometimes there never is an answer to certain questions and that’s ok. There is not a reason for everything in life, so why over-analyse? Since the first lockdown began in March 2020, a very popular motto seems to be flying all over the place: “It is what it is”. Very accepting of situations we cannot control and this can include our feelings towards ourselves. We must be kind to ourselves; even on challenging days where we have made mistakes be kind, you’re human after all.
If you don’t love yourself then that’s ok! Start from the bottom of liking yourself and slowly build up the qualities of what you really like or possibly love about yourself. Whether you like your academic abilities, your humour or anything, you can build it up. Being told that you are loved is one of the biggest compliments of all. No matter who says it, take those beautiful words like a warm hug around your heart.
Are you ready for love? I believe we all are!